Pie Slice of Life

Where does all the time go?

Do you remember being a kid and feeling like adulthood was an eternity away? At 5, I wanted to hurry up and be 10. At 10, I wanted to be 16. At 16, I wanted to be 18 and then 21. As a little girl, I couldn't wait to grow up. I'd sneak into my mom's closet to play dress-up. I'd slip my tiny feet into her high heels and trip all over myself because that's what grown-ups do.

I felt like I was always waiting around. Waiting until I was tall enough for the big kid rides at the theme park. Waiting to get my driver's license. Waiting to graduate high school, then college. Waiting to get a real job. Time seemed to crawl by, like being on a roller coaster as it climbs ever-so-slowly higher, the anticipation building for the thrill that's yet to come.

I reached the precipice somewhere around college math and my first real job. And then, in an instant, I was whipping through graduate school, loop-the-looping around friends' weddings, and doing flybys past my entire 20s. The length of a year became compressed. I'd often wonder, "where does all the time go?"

If I reflect on the past year of my life, I know stuff happened. I even have the photographic evidence to prove some of it happened. Even still, it doesn't account for an entire year's worth of experiences. In my mind, a whole year can be condensed into a handful of memories that hardly amount to another birthday and more gray hairs.

To figure out this mystery, I decided to write down everything I do in a typical working day, and then group all of those activities into a few main categories. Then I wrote down how many hours I spend per day on each category. For fun, I also came up with my Ideal Pie Chart. It looks something like this:

In my ideal world, I decided to go with a solid eight hours of Sleep. Then for good measure, I threw in another whole hour for my afternoon cat-nap. I almost allocated the remainder of my time to Fun Stuff, but because I'm getting wise in my old age, I realized that I needed to spend a few hours each day on goal-directed activities that are still personally rewarding. I call this space my Personal Goals - things like learning to play another instrument or taking yoga classes. And that would be it. Three categories of complete bliss. Unfortunately, my reality looks more like this:

If you look at the entire left side of the pie, you'll see that work, school, and my daily commute take up about half of my day. You might also be wondering why categories like Eating and Hygiene suddenly show up in the bottom-right quadrant, whereas they weren't included in the Ideal Pie Chart above. That's because they are fundamentally different activities in my ideal world versus my real world. In my ideal world, for example, dinner with friends goes under Fun Stuff. Likewise, trying out an awesome new recipe would go under Personal Goals. In my real world, however, preparing meals after a long day of work has no place in either space, and fits in comfortably next to another related category - Chores. By the time I get to the top-right quadrant, where the three categories that make up my Ideal Pie Chart reside, my Personal Goals and Fun Stuff are basically reduced to scraps.

Having responsibilities is not a bad thing. Work allows me to pay for and appreciate the Fun Stuff. There's also some overlap between working, finishing school, and reaching my personal goals. And of course I have my weekends, which are a bit more fulfilling. But if I'm honest with myself, 75% of the activities I fill my days with are not very memorable. If I made a video highlights reel of the past year, most of the footage would come from the two liitle slivers where I achieved my personal goals, or where I was doing things that were enjoyable and meaningful.

So am I creating memorable moments or just passing time? Have I developed daily habits that are crowding out the rewarding parts of life? I can't keep making excuses about not having enough time, and if I keep waiting around for the thrill around the next corner, I'll miss out on all the exciting things that could be happening right now. Instead of passively letting my daily routine get in the way, I want to create memories that justify a year of life on this earth. I've spent my childhood yearning for the freedom of adulthood, but I won't spend my adulthood yearning for the freedom of childhood. I want more out of life than to spend 75% of my adulthood in the Forgettable Zone.

#timemanagement #goals